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| お誕生日おめでとうございます！
まだ逢いたくて。。。
いつか、きっと会えるよね？
その日を待っているから。
逢いたくて、逢いたくて、逢いたくて．．．
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| The rules/procedures are as follows: The first player of this game
starts with the topic "five weird habits of yourself," and people who
get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well
as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next
five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don't forget
to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says "You are tagged"
(assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.
- the programs need to be open in a certain order on my computer. if it isn't, i will close the programs and restart them in order. same goes for my system tray, i will restart the computer 239048 times if necessary...
- i always have to have music playing or the TV on. if i can't have music, i'll start singing or humming. can't be in complete silence or it gets ugly.
- when people start shouting or fighting around me, i have a sudden urge to clean things.
- my bed sheets have to be just right before i go to sleep or else i have to get up and fix them.
- when i get nervous or tired, i start speaking with a british accent... (this is according to ppl around me, i don't realize it or really hear it myself)
hm, these weird habits make me sound rather strange... honestly, i'm not a strange person T_T
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| 夢
今はまだ思い出るは出来ない したくないの
あなたと２人で見てるこの夢が 終わるまで
それはあまりに 切ない出会いだったと
いつかふと思い出すぐらいで いいから
後悔してる 終わりから始めた恋
今は噛み締めさせて 夢でもいいから
届かなくていい 辿りつけない二人でいい
今はただ求め合うこの想いを 愛したい
今はまだ傷つくことできない 私がいる
心の赴くままに生きられない あなたと
気まぐれでもいい 愛してると 嘘をついて
今はただ 叶えられない夢を見て
眠るから | | |
| things that make me happy:
00 MY SISTER
01 watching Miyavi's あしタ、元気ニなぁレ。 PV
02 sleeping in
03 watching a cute boy smile genuinely
04 listening to ゲンキ songs by 嵐
05 happy children
06 singing along to a really good song
07 getting good grades
08 a nice wind when it's hot outside
09 when my cats lie on me and start purring
10 hearing someone say they miss me
11 hearing someone say that they're proud of me
12 beating a hard boss in a PS2 game
13 watching 장우혁 dance
14 figuring out a hard problem
15 people being sweetly affectionate with each other
16 really good food
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| i'm pretty sure that no one reads this anymore, hee hee ^^;; so i guess
i can spill my soul in relative anonymity ^^ well, as anonymous as a
blog gets, i suppose...
so i've been rather depressed lately... probably because of everything
that's been happening over the past year or so. don't feel like
psychoanalyzing myself so i won't go deeper than that. but i've found a
delightful distraction in 嵐! just when i thought that korean was taking
over my life, i go back to japanese ^^ which is good because japanese
sticks in my head better than korean, even though korean is simpler.
with all of the music and the dramas and struggling to translate
unsubbed vids for my sister, my japanese has gotten a lot better than
around this time last year. i hope i can find time to get formally
schooled sometime. i'm sure that my grasp of the language is kinda
tweaked... i can swear and challenge people to duels and profess my
love for them, but something tells me that this wouldn't be that useful
if i were ever to play tourist in japan...
but back to Arashi, i always feel embarassed when i mention to people
that i like a "boy band" and i started thinking of why that was (yes,
i'm avoiding self-psychoanalysis by focusing on trivial things). i
think it's because boy bands are associated with prepubescent
teeny-boppers that are driven primarily through hormones and not by
much else. so that got me thinking, why do i like Arashi? is it just
because of the hormonal factor?
i think that the eyecandy is definitely a significant factor, but i
think that it's only part of the reason why i've come to like them so
much. their music is so happy that it takes my mind off of crap, and
nowadays that's a very precious thing indeed, what with the insomnia,
isolation, and rumination (don't leave me alone in silence, it's not
pretty). i have something to focus on, i have something happy to listen
to, i have eyecandy to look at. they just happened to float by when i
desperately needed something to distract me, and they're doing their
job splendidly.
so i guess that the thing is that Arashi helps to fill a void and help
me keep from going insane as my mind goes through the slow and
painstaking process of healing. of course i wouldn't lay all of this on
someone if they asked me why i liked a boy band at my age...
but then that spins me off on thinking why i feel like i need to feel
ashamed or why i should have to defend why i like them. the next time
someone scoffs at me, i'm gonna have to seriously restrain myself from
screaming, "they're talented, they're entertaining, and they make me a
hell of a lot happier than you do, dammit! so stop judging me and leave
me alone!!!"
haha, if i ever really said something like that, i think everyone would just die of shock...
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